it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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