If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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