dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
