My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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