I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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