Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
