All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
