dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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