Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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