put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
