Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
