if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Girls should come with a carfax report
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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