the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
