you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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