Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
