so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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