I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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