Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
