You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
