i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
