I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
