I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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