You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
