I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
