Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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