I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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