In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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