upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
