i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
