im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm having to shit out rocks
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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