70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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