I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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