i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize