I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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