I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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