69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
