Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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