WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she smelled like a LAN party
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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