I wish you could order shots online.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
