Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
