her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
