I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize