Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
