i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
