My room smells like vodka and shame
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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