PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
