Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
