i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize