Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
