Having a random hookup so left but love u
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
