the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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