I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
