i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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