im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
