This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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