Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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