I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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