I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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