And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
