do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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