wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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