Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
